My Weightloss Journey - An Introduction

This Nutella was for prop purposes only and was never purchased or consumed by persons in this photo ;)

Hey internet, yes this is me, Melanie.

I weigh 148.8kg (328 pounds) and I'm sick of it.

I've always been overweight but in the last few years the weight has continued to go up...or should I say, out. This is the largest and most uncomfortable I have been in my life.  My weight has started to impact my life in several ways.  

Medically 

At the start of last year I started getting horrible migraines and would get them up to about 4-5 week. Along with nausea, dizziness (sometimes so bad I couldn't walk or stand), tiredness, confusion, and sometimes I would forget everyday words.  After several tests and an MRI I was diagnosed with Chiari 1 Malformation (I have a misshaped skull that forces part of my brain down my spine) but it was never confirmed if this was the culprit for all of these symptoms as I was born with this and never experienced symptoms until 31 years of age.  A year later and it has not been confirmed, I still have migraines.  The doctors have told me that weight will not help my condition and even a small amount of weight (6kg) would be beneficial.

Physically

At this size everything is pretty much uncomfortable most of the time.  I don't exercise and am not really active at all.  The smallest flight of steps leave me breathless, the slightest hill will leave my legs in pain and tired.  I tend not to wear dresses as my legs rub together and sometimes they are so raw I get sores.  When it's hot I sometimes get a red rash under my belly and so bad I get blisters.

Emotionally

It's so humiliating being this size. I'm a size 26 and it's hard for me to find clothes.  I hate shopping for clothes so much that I buy them off the internet to avoid embarrassment if things don't fit. I feel like I've gained a lot of weight but lost my confidence, happiness and personality.  I can't go to theme parks anymore as I can't fit in the harnesses for the rides.  I have to ask for a belt extension when I fly.  I get anxiety when I see a chair with arm rests as I don't fit in most of them and they cut into my thighs or side.  It's getting to the point now where I am scared to go outside for fear of people judging me.  I know they look at me and I know what they are thinking because I have thought it all myself.

Do I need more reasons to do this? I think not.  I'm not doing some new fad or diet,  I'm not going to starve myself or try to lose weight too quickly and I don't want to do this to lose a few kilograms, I'm in it for the long haul.  I'm pretty much twice the average persons weight.

I'm starting Lite n Easy.  Lite n Easy is an Australian company that specializes in calorie and portion controlled meals.  For more information the website is here.  I have been on Lite n Easy before, several times and it does work, but I never stuck with it.  But with all the previous mentioned reasons and more, I"m determined to go all the way with it and actually try.  I'm also doing the thing I hate the most, which is exercise.  Being this size I'm too afraid to go to the gym or having the general public seeing me exercise.  So I have several fitness videos I plan to do at home.

Well, there it is, all of my fears, concerns and humiliations that I have kept to myself for so many years all here for the world to see.  Why?  I don't want to hide anymore.  I don't want to make excuses.  I'm creating this blog to help me keep on track and hopefully anyone who wants to lose weight will join me. Lets motivate and support each other through it all.  

So who's with me?  I would love to hear from you!